Organization IV

I was sleeping, and then I awoke; it was as simple as that. But simplicity ended there.

I propped myself up on an elbow, winced as pain stabbed through my head, and looked around. The place wasn't familiar. I scanned it a few more times, trying to make a connection. None were forthcoming.

I wondered where in the castle... the castle! It hit me so hard I sat bolt upright, adding fresh pain to the dull throb in my head. I wasn't in the castle! Where was I? How'd I get here? What happened?

I couldn't answer any of them, adding to an ever increasing amount of panic building in the back of my mind. In truth, I couldn't remember anything beyond Nexan's "Tell them she's awake".

The panic and curiosity would have overwhelmed me if the door hadn't opened. Sora walked in, saw me awake, and his face was clouded with relief, fear, and disappointment. Suddenly, my head cleared and replaced the panic with a engulfing sense of failure, though I didn't understand why I felt that way.

"Max..." he sat at the end of the bed, chin resting on his folded hands.

I tried to speak, to make up some reason to justify whatever I had done, but I was choked; choked by that feeling of utter failure.

After some time of silence, Sora looked at me, his eyes and expression betraying nothing.

"Max," he said, his voice also unrevealing. "Do you know what happened?"

I spoke before I could even think about what to say. "I lost control."

Slowly, I realized what I had said, and accepted it. It made sense, but it also increased that failure feeling inside me until I'm sure I reeked of it.

Sora looked at me with slight surprise now. "So that's what happened... can you-"

"No," I shook my head, anticipating the question. "I can't remember what happened, I just... know..."

"Ah."

I averted my eyes, a bit shamed to admit my inability to maintain control. After a minute, though, I couldn't bear to wait any longer.

"Sora, could you-"

It was his turn to anticipate. "I already sent Riku and Kairi to check on your friends. If somethings wrong, one of them can report back here while the other stays to help out. If nothing's wrong... then I guess we won't be seeing them for a while."

Sora saw the relived and tense look on my face, but did nothing. There was nothing he could do. He stood and headed to leave.

"Sora?"

"Yea-" I cut him off as I jumped out of bed and hugged him.

"Thank you..."

He hugged me back, and I cried in his arms. There was no longer any justification for my actions, no reason for me to have done what I did. I had done a great evil, and I was ready to pay the consequences.

After my tears stopped flowing, Sora held me at arms length and searched my fearful grey-blue eyes. "We'll get through this. Together."

I sniffed and nodded, trusting his every word.

He smiled and patted me on the head. "I got some rules here, though, if you're gonna stay."

I looked up, attentive.

"First of all, you can't wear your organization robe here." I gave him a distressed look and he smiled. "Don't worry. The closet back there has a whole bunch of clothes from when I was younger. Something should at least part-way fit you."

I looked back at the closet in the room I had woken up in, and nodded.

"I'll expect you awake and dressed in time for lunch, and then we'll work on control, 'kay?"

"'Kay..." I mumbled, a bit worried, and a whole lot excited.

Sora left and shut the door behind him. I stared at it for a minute, then wandered over to the closet, throwing the doors open.

I browsed the clothes absentmindedly, not really looking. My mind was elsewhere. But one thing caught my eye, and brought my mind back to the task at hand. I reached into the far corner, and brought forth and outfit. Roxas's outfit.

I stared spellbound at it, regaining faint wisps of memories. I heard voices, too faint to make out, but there tone's where distinguishable. I heard Xemnas, Axel, Xion... and shook my head. I didn't need to be draw back.Not now.

It only took a minute to shed my organization clothes and put Roxas's on. There were a bit big, not exactly made for my type of body, but they didn't fall off when I jumped and ran and tried to shake them off. To me, that meant it fit perfect.

It was slightly unnerving to wear Roxas's clothes. Words like traitor flashed through my mind, and it was a bit difficult to ignore them. But one call from Sora and my mind's attention was relocated. I scrambled out the door to find Sora, and turn over a new leaf as a better, more dependable Max.

I had no idea how hard that would be.