From the Diary of Nexan, iii

I have not written in a long time. Everything has moved fast. Max has gone insane, and I fear for my friend. It seems the darkness has taken up residence in her mind, for she has kidnapped Braxyd. She sent me a message, but it was hard to work out.

"dirty small cell not right. bloody friend. going to parent grave. try and find him bitch."

Xassha and Xahnan have been searching for Braxyd and Maxsodin all night. Sora, Riku and Kairi are also looking, investigating through their connections. We need Max back, the old Max. I need to know she is safe in the cell of her mind. That she is still in there.

I think the darkness has fooled Maxsodin into thinking she is fine. I fear she may try to destroy Braxyd, or maim herself. Once Maxsodin is safe and well, we will attack Kingdom Hearts without her. She will never be well enough for it. It could kill her.

Seycax is waiting for me. I will update this soon with the events of the past months. I just wish everything was normal. Or as normal as it can get without a heart.

Until then,

I

True or False

It was very rare when Xahssa found the time to sit down and enjoy a nice hot cup of tea.

Often, she was being sent off to train with this member or sending an empty threat to Sora and his army of nitwits. Nexan worked her very hard, so Xahssa envied Braxyd and Maxsodin more and more for their free will and ability to be rebellious or bend the rules in the slightest way whenever they wanted. Today, however, she could enjoy herself.

She reclined in her chair, breathing in the calming scent of her tea. It was rather delightful after a day of her nose being filled with the smell of Braxyd's blood. She didn't like torturing her friends, but there's two options: punish or be punished. And if Braxyd was deep in Castle Oblivion in a dingy cell and Maxsodin was locked away in her room, they should have at least one sane person keeping an eye out on things.

Sipping carefully, Xahssa thought about what she knew.

Lie: Maxsodin was kept in her room so she could "heal" from the after affects of the battle.

Truth: Nexan was keeping her in there so she could study the full extent of what Max could do. If she managed to get herself out of there, the Superior would groom her into the ultimate weapon.

Lie: Braxyd was on a holiday.

Truth: He was being beat bloody everyday because of what Nexan calls treason.

Lie: Xahssa was not invovled in any of this.

Truth: She still had to wash out the blood in her coat from yesterday and fix Maxsodin another sandwich so she wouldn't starve.

Lie: Nexan was totally and completely like she always is.

Truth: There was something definitely off with the Superior. No one knew yet, but there was.

Rubbing her forehead, Xahssa closed her eyes. She didn't mean to fall asleep, but she did.

Angry. Yes, that's how I believe I feel. Angry.

Giving in to the Darkness had its benefits. I was more powerful now. MUCH more powerful.
Did I show it? No, of course not!
I had gained the ability to see what I wanted. More specifically, where I wanted. And the first thing I wanted to see was Braxyd, if he was dead or not.
To my slightest surprise, he wasn't dead. And the reason for this feeling of anger? He was being torchured.
My first reaction? To save him, of course. But foolish nobility is a short-lived feeling, and I was soon laughing at my stupidity.
My second reaction: hate.
This was a feeling I was becoming increasingly used to. It filled me, and yet I was not affected by it. It was simply there, and I chose to use it at times. This was one of those times.
I flexed my figures experimentally, feeling the Darkness concentrate its force in them. I closed my eyes and bowed my head slightly.
Go to Braxyd, I instructed, and snapped my fingers.

I looked around with utter distaste at Braxyd's cell. Small, cramped, dirty. Braxyd stared at me in surprised, but I ignored his stupidity.
"Dilemma?" I asked, trying to muster up some of the old Maxsodin for my old friend. I was less than successful.
He shrugged after a second. I looked at the wound on his head.
I held my hand out. Heal, I thought. And it obeyed.
Braxyd groped at his fully healed wound in awe. I rolled my eyes, expressing my distaste fro lingering.
"Shall we go?" I asked flatly, holding out my hand.
He looked at it warily. After a minute, my patience wore thin and I grabbed onto his arm. He cried out in protest. Silence, I thought nastily. He fell abruptly silent.
Flexing my free fingers, I waited until I could feel them tingling with Darkness before I snapped. Take us back to my room, I thought hard, concentrating as best I could.
Seconds later, the cell was empty and desolate, nothing changed but the absence of its only prisoner. As we traveled through nothingness, back to my room, I silently sent out a message to Nexan, using the stored hate I had. I was sure by the thin smile that spread unwillingly across my impassive face that she had received it.
This made me feel good.

pain

"STOP" cried braxyd as nexxan punched him once again in the face.
"Once Maxsodin finds out about this she will so kill you" he said a drop of blood dripped down his chin.
"she wont be doing anything for you because she thinks you are dead in castle oblivion." said nexan smugly.
"well i bet you didnt count on ... um... i dont know, I'm in too much pain to think."
"do you konw why it is just you in this cell?"Ask nexan
"Cuz of daddio?" asked braxyd in response
"your dad was the talkative rebellious type." said nexan as if dissapointed, "you would be the son of flowers and zappy."
"..." braxyd said nothing he did not like to talk about his mom and dad. they never loved him because they never could, "Beat the hell out of me if you want, just dont talk about mom and dad!"
"i will send in xassha hopefully she can talk some sense into you, or maybe you can read it." she snapped he fingers and a small pamphlet apeared infront of him. it apeared to be a thousand years old. With that she was off and xassha was on.
"great," said braxyd, "a whole new fight to lose. just be gentle on the forehead. nexan really stressed that spot."

Need me, do they? Pfff. That's all I've ever been, isn't it? A tool. I'd like to see how they'd cope without me. Bet they'd completely loose it.

But I'm no tool. Tools don't have a conscience. I do. Let's see what they do when there tool doesn't cooperate. They'd break me, of course. Bend me to their will.

I'd like to see them try.

The Reveal

I tip-toed into her room, not wanting to wake her up. Not yet. I couldn't believe what had happened over the last weeks. I didn't want Maxsodin to bear the weight of what happened. It was almost over. If only Max was better.......

Nearly an hour later she awakes. I sit quietly, waiting for her to acknowledge me. She looks about, exhausted from the come-like state she'd been in for over a month. Her glassy eyes find my face.
"Why?" It was a feeble question, but I knew what it meant.
"Why are you here? Why are you alive? Why didn't we kill you?" A sly smile spreads over my face, unwillingly. "We need you Max. I know you are weak. You've been asleep for more than a month. No, don't speak," i say as she opens her mouth. "Sora came to terms with us. That idiot Keyblader thought we were keeping you hostage the first week. Then he realised how to open the door." She smiles at this, I'm glad. "I don't know how much you remember, but you succumbed to the dark in your heart. It took over you and you tried to attack whatever was near. You finally passed out, and we transferred you here, to Castle Oblivion. You being dead was not an option, never. Not even from the start. We need you to keep us sane. Or as sane as we can be, what with us not having hearts. Everyone is busy, either making cages for the Heartless or training. We're not killing Heartless anymore, you know. IT only feeds Kingdom Hearts. By cutting off its life line we weaken it. Listen: I'm so glad you're awake. Take your time getting up, i will be a week or so before you can train. I'll bring you some water and food. You need time to think.""

And with that, I hop up from my chair. I quickly run downstairs and prepare her an apple, water, muffin, and half of a peanut butter-and-turkey sandwich, with extra raisins.

I bring the cart to her room. Maxsodin is now sitting up. I give her the tray, smile, and begin to leave. Just as I am about to pass the threshold of the door, I hear a weak, "Thank you Nexan, but raisins?" I just smile and leave.

Maxsodin awoke.

Too many sensations hit her for her to comprehend, but here's a list:
1.) Her head throbbed
2.) her heart was pounding in her ears
3.) the room was spinning
4.) Her stomach felt like it had been deflated and then turned inside out
5.) the room smelled odd; the sharp smell of antiseptics hung gloomily

Overall, she felt neglected.

She sat up, an effort beyond her capacity, though she managed to succeed. She wondered momentarily where she was, or how she got here. Then it all came back to her.

Everything: the almost-battle, the taking over of the Darkness, Sora... everything hit her again with a force so palpable she fell back down to a laying position.

She groaned aloud, wanting anything to be anywhere but here, in this room, without any familiar faces. No, I take that back, she didn't want to see her friends. She knew they couldn't forgive her, not after what had happened.

All she wanted was to go back.

To have her old life back.

No troubles.

Odd sandwiches of Nexan's.

Caring insults of Xahsa's.

Burns and wounds of Braxyd's.


A tear formed in her eye. Just another sign that going back would never happen. She was stuck in a world formed to hate her. To despise her. To rid itself of her.

Besides, she had never belonged in the past anyway. None of them had. They were all born into normal lives, with families and siblings. They had been taken from that world, and would never get back.

Maxsodin curled up on her bed, the sheets so white it gave her a headache. She shut her eyes tight, uttering her final wish.

Please let me die, please let me die, please let me die, please get me out of here, please please please just let me die...

She opened one eye. Not dead. Uttering a curse that was chocked by an oncoming river of tears, Maxsodin shut herself from the world.

Lying on the bed, Maxsodin remained motionless as she had been for days, having finally cried herself to sleep, wishing only to be freed from the world that had formed around her.

the secret plan

Oh maxy please just remember the plan we talked about.
"wow how ironic" braxyd said to Nexan
"What?" Nexan said in curiousity.
"This is where our organization was made, and this is where it shal end!"
the rest was a blur to all of the members and keybladers.

Two day later In an interogation room in the castle.
"Why did you do it braxyd?" Xahssa said to braxyd.
"She is my sister." braxyd mumbled inaudibly. Some how she heard
"WHAT?!?!"
"friendly sister"
she scoweled
"What do you remember of the battle?"
"Darkness and then it all just went cold. i woke for a moment nexan was fighting with my halbered. maxy was on the ground next to me. saor and rike retreated and then you KO'ed me"
"good thats all you should remember" she left with a slight frown and i'm sorry on her lips